Official Derailed thread... Wait, what?

Out of nowhere the ELF burst in and just hosed down the room with gunfire. It might seem extreme, but somebody's gotta stand up for the poor innocent cockroaches.

 

Its not the one you see you need to worry about its the other ten you dont.

 

Not sure why it annoys me so much that kids are still at the bus stop at 9 in the morning. Maybe it's because most schools at the latest the first bell of the day is 8:45. And that is elementary or middle. All the public high schools start at 7:15. I think the latest any of the school start is 9:15. Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools is a mess and way to large. I think it is one of the largest in the nation. Mostly area it covers. Like Schools in the northern part of it will close due to snow causing the whole CMS to close when there is no snow in the southern part of it (close to the south carolina border. Charlotte north carolina.)

 

Gmail is skeptical this came from the actual Devil.

 

Ya know, tuba's fine, but if he's gonna keep handing out solid gold instruments I'm gonna go with a baby grand. It may never move afterwards, but I'm pretty sure I can live quite fancy just pawning off keys and strings without ever even getting to the bigger pieces. Of course I'm not anywhere near good enough to win, unless he's just downright terrible so out goes that plan

 

I mean if you're going for sheer mass, go with a solid gold cathedral organ. You'll win by default too, since even if you can only play chopsticks, that'll top the sound of the devil spontaneously combusting the instant he sets foot in the building.

 

Obvious Floridian bias is obvious.

 

I mean, the scale is right, but I think the usable chunks would be about the same. I dunno about you but I imagine even the smallest of those tubes would end up being a couple hundred pounds.

 

Should challenge the devil for a duel of sword and buckler of the I.33 variety (One-thirty-three). For a contemporary critic said of the I.33 "the lady and the monk do things that even the Devil himself wouldn't dare!"

 

I don't know that I'd ever consider taking a critic's commentary as gospel truth, might set rather dangerous precedent if becomes a thing. Also, I'm pretty sure the dude is fucked, but she's leaving with a limp anyway. (if they're both supposed to be dudes then white guy's boned and Link's limping.)

 

Ain't that the truth - not all manuscripts are good just because they exist.

That technique on the picture is the Sturzhau and the fencer on the left performs it and gets away without a scratch. The opponent's blade is controlled with the shield and kept from a line where it can reach you while you perform this neat attack that will go past his shield in case he has the shield covering the line to his head.

Because it looks like the kind of attack that doesn't seem very effective to many I will include one of the leading masters of I.33 fencing, Roland Warzecha explaining it with his son.



In general while feet are a legal target it is surprisingly easy to keep the legs safe. This is because of geometry of the fight - the primary pivot point for any sword is the shoulder. Shoulder is high, the line from shoulder is diagonal to the opponent's legs and straight towards his shoulder. Thus when you stand straight the legs will remain out of reach for longer.

 

Except for a sword through the foot in that picture.

 

yeah I don't know what his original line of attack was, but step that motion one frame forward and there's no escaping for that foot, it's a goner. He will undoubtedly lose a few inches of flesh across his brow, but were it a competition they'd both be coming away with a touch

 

Fabris plate 77 of Book I, rapier and dagger - cropped to make it safe for work

The thing with these kinds of situations is the 'stop motion' nature of them. If you were able to hit 'play' both the fencers would be animated - and you would see in these example situations that there's not just a reason but multiple reasons why the winning fencer gets way unharmed - timing, distance, strong versus weak, feeling etc.

In fact there are few things better than a close miss - a voiding with body that is such that all the during his attack the opponent is thinking he is going to hit you up until the very last moment where he misses you by less than an inch because you were able to judge his reach that well and time your evasion to after he had committed himself.

Fencing a superior fencer is weird. It's like you always end up hitting empty air and other times his defenses always manifest on the very last minute and are just enough to barely stop you - and his attacks change directions and somehow angle through your best defenses.

Fencing is not a martial art of hitting really, really fast and having flawless technique.

At it's highest levels it is the martial art of deceiving your opponent and outsmarting him.

Though some people just move so ridiculously fast that they get away with that too

 

..and then the wolves came.