If that sets the world on fire there is one of two fundamental problems... either trust or a twisted sense of ownership. Then ofc i would just look at my better half and ask her to make sure the does not catch anything nasty. =P As for you my best Naga. Try to not go overboard. It is easy to do either from self pity or in a effort to try and prove to the world that you are OK.
She's had two boyfriends since we've been friends. I've always talked to her, and still do about real-life issues, even some boyfriend issues when she wanted a male perspective. I used to hang out with her all the time, but now we are separated by physical location. I've visited her twice in the three years(visiting again in a week and a half) since we were last living in the same city, and she's visited me once (She travels a lot, France, Germany, Vancouver). Actually, she once chose our friendship over a boyfriend because she was talking to me about issues and such, and he didn't like that. I think you are generalizing a little too much when you say that men and women can never be true friends. Sure, it's not common, but it does happen.
You two seem very compatible and very close if the relationship is this strong. Why not take a shot at something more than friends? You can sit and say, I don't want to ruin the friendship. However, isn't true lifelong happiness worth the risk? and if you guys get along so well, even if something more does not work, you will still remain friends.
I am 33, I've been in a relationship for five years. I would take a bullet for her, simply because she is hands down a better person than I am. The world would be a way worse place without her, than with me. I am going to probably propose marriage to her in a year(don't tell her any of this, lol). The reason I tell you this is because, I am a loyal soldier, I am not a cheater.... When the boys and I go out, we get a lot of attention from girls, because simply, we are jack-a$$ses that like to have a good time and most of us are not looking to get laid. I get into several conversations with girls, just because they are around our group and it's nice to meet people. Would it be appropriate for me to get these girls(some attractive, some not) numbers and talk with them on a daily basis? and hang out with them on a monthly basis? I don't do it out of respect, not so much because I don't trust myself, or would be worried about my actions. I would say it's more based on what's appropriate, moreso than trust. I dunno, maybe I am crazy, lol...
When I read Skoll's awesomeness, I envision him hitting the keyboard with a club made of chopped down tree and yelling at the keyboard to type his words out for him. Kind of like Siri, except a battered Siri, making sure dinner is the perfect temperature right when Skoll gets home Siri....
We may be close, but we are also somewhat different in our approaches to life. She's very much a free spirit, one that likes to travel around as much as possible, whereas I am more rooted to commitments I have created for myself (A-la debts mostly). I plan, and plot and look at everything when I plan a trip or a move. She's more of the type to drop everything and go, just because of the opportunity. Sure, I could loosen up some, but that does take time. Going from complete introvert to care-free globe trotter takes time.
Dude, this girls sounds perfect for you, her free spirited-ness will break you out of your Trevnor shell!
Don't worry, She's already, long ago started that process. Like I said, it does take time, and once I get my debt to a somewhat more manageable level, there might be something more... For now though, I'm content.
My ex did think of committing suicide (she didn't actually go through with it) it kinda messed me up that semester for me (years ago) but meh whatever. I might have messed up the semester anyways without her help.
I used to be much the same way, I still am to an extent. I will try to plan about everything out but I've learned that every plan has to be flexable and that dropping everything for something else that happens is perfectly fine. I think having my ex who over planed everything in life made me re-evaluate my own life and figure out what really is important to worry about and then just make the most out of everything else. The girl I'm talking to now is much the same way but as a reformed free spirit if you will, taking the time to take care of responsibilities but having balance to have the time and ability to be spontaneous and enjoy life.
I'm actually pretty much at that point now, but on a small scale. Gotta start somewhere, right? For example, I never used to take invites to places unless it was like a day or two ahead of time. Now, if I'm called up and asked if I want to go to a party that night, so long as I'm not doing anything else, I'll just say, "Sure" and go. Also, I pad most of my estimates for trips and such, in case there's a cool show or something I wasn't aware of, same thing for the amount of money I need to save. Thing is.. she'll do something like go to Japan for a job interview if she can manage to scrape together enough money for the flight alone.
to every rule there is an exception, however, men almost always have sex on their mind. trying to keep it simple and in broad terms... so... Men see women, odds are great at least one man will say' I would do her' in reference to the least desirable female in the group, but every man will have considered having sex with each of those females he saw, he then sorts into, yes, maybe, for the team, and last resort, Weather he admits he did or not. I have female friends...maybe, I do think of having sex with them, maybe not constantly thinking it, but I like them or they wouldn't be friends, and Males don't have to like a woman in order to have sex with them, and still enjoy it too! I however don't think of women as simple sex objects, a relationship that is based on just sex, isn't a relationship. Ladies remember this, men lie (so do women of course) if a man tells only one lie in his life, it probably was told in order to get laid. p.s. women seem to be of the 'I wouldn't do him' as opposed to the men's 'I would do her' rating system when first encountering each other.
Imminent and I are far to closely minded on this topic, so much so that he has basically said everything I was thinking as I read through the responses. Personally I feel there is a key exception to the men cant be friends with women "rule" and it is simply time. I have 2 very close female friends, who are attractive enough to cause an issue in any relationship that I get involved in. These two girls are girls that I grew up with and while I wont lie and say I have never thought about sleeping with them, I wont more out of respect and knowledge that I have about them and they about me. They are both two of the closest friends I have and I value their opinions about a lot of my daily life. With that said, I see these girls as an exception in my life. We have all been friend zoned (well the male members of this board, not sure about the female members as being male I cant really comment on what happens there) we know how it feels and it can feel pretty damn shitty. Never the less there are so many people out there that you cant get beaten by one missed chance.
