Gaming vs real life friends: immature/sad/get a real life?

Any of you guys experience this?

I can't say I have legions of real life friends who I see or even contact on a regular basis. Of those I do, regardless of their age or circumstances, almost universally, they don't understand the idea of gaming and tend to be cynical or scornful of it.

I've been gaming since the days of C64 and I've just hit the big 30. No intention of stopping now or anytime soon because these days I'm earning enough money to make a good go of it. Truth be told, I enjoy sitting on team speak and hammering out a few hours of whatever game, beer in hand, long into the night.

Even so, it does concern me that I am perhaps neglecting their helpful 'advice'.

I have to admit I can be an anti-social s.o.b sometimes and find a lot of people very difficult to interact with face to face, the slow witted, in particular frustrate the hell out of me. Naturally, online gaming and in particular the PC master race is a bastion of intellect since the level of intelligence required to even purchase or operate a computer to run games is fairly high, so maybe that is why I gravitate towards gaming more?

I'm a long time xbox user too, and like the Live service a lot. In fact I have regular contact online with a variety of folk of all ages and gaming interests.

My sort of question then is, am I alone in this, or are there legions of you doing likewise and are we really missing anything? I don't watch a lot of TV, I don't go out drinking heavily on the town or do parties much. Just not my thing. Is this acceptable behavior or am I in fact just a squishy brain hardwired to the internet and not much else?

 

Right there with you. I personally believe we are all part of some massive government funded social experiment to see how low people will sit still and stare at a screen, but who knows?

 

Its your life.

Screw the "world" and their opinions, its your life and if it suits you, so the better.

 

whats the real world? All I do is work during the day, gym right after, then I come home and play MWO or watch movies. All my real life friends have become rather boring... so I'm not missing out in anything lol

 

Wait.... what is this real ife you speak of... is like like going outside.. in the sun..

no seriously though.

Most of my real life friends think "fun" is getting so drunk you puke your brains out in a toilet I just took a shit in not 2 minutes prior. Or laying in a pool of your own vomit.. so with that being said.. id rather just play my games instead of just looking like a total freaking dumbass. though most of them are becoming more mature.. mid 20's now most of them are stopping. also save alot of money not being spent on alcohol.

 

Ditto, except I'm at Uni so they show no signs of stopping.

I do have friends I hang out with sometimes though, I just think my blockmates think I'm a bit of a recluse. I do go and chill with them on the stairs some evenings though.

 

When I was even younger I would have spent all my possible free time playing games. Today, I try to juggle between gaming, PnP playing and drinking excessively. It doesn't always work so I do have to choose between those 3 sometimes, so I choose the one I haven't done in sometime. Since I have friends that are gamers and friends for drinking I make sure they never meet or mix. Each group, as has been said, likes different things and they just don't mix in their minds...

Having in mind that I'm still a student, I don't know how things will turn out when I get a job, but I really hope that I can still do all the things that I love including gaming.

 

Penny Arcade ran an article about this just the other day, that ought to be encouraging. It all depends on where you live, but you're definitely not in the minority in thinking that games are awesome.

 

That's a great article. It really conveys how I (most of us) feel at time...

 

I have actually thought about this a lot. I live in an area that I was kind of dropped into because of where my dad got a job. Once here I met my now ex-wife and had a son. So having him here has anchored me here. The only main reason I am still here is because I want to spend time with him.

Now how does this tie into your point. This is an area where I do not fit, at all. Especially when it comes to a social side. The social aspect of this area is going to church, that is how most people meet and socialize. Also because of that, I do not really get along with people around here. I have found some pockets and I have some good friends. However most, if not all, are not from here. So having people that I can talk to on a regular basis that share many of my interests, is a great thing. I have found some really awesome people who I share not only interest but beliefs, convictions and other general things that we can talk about for extraordinary amounts of time. The gaming side of it is just the grounds or the thing that puts us all together or pulls us together.

So the whole gamer thing, yes I am a gamer. However, that is only a level field where other people can come that enjoy the same thing. It is not the only thing gamers do, or care about. Like the article says, people do not have a problem sitting in front of a TV and using a show as common medium. They do not have a problem to use any number of sports as a common medium. However when it comes to games, apparently that does not sit on the same level. I think they are right, it is so far and above any of those things because through different types of games you can experience so much more then just a football game can deliver.

Another thing; honestly I do not see any difference in the conversations that go on over teamspeak and a phone conversation. People would not think twice that the person on the other end of the phone is no less of a part of their life then someone standing right in front of them. However people who have not been involved in a community like this do not understand that most of us feel the same way about that person on the other end of TS, as anyone else would about he person on the other end of a telephone.

 

Aside from the people at that party looking like pretentious twats, it is quite possible to partake of both of these activities (or similar ones) and more, if you actually want to.

If there is no-one holding you to a geographical location, and you actually want to see someone face-face occasionally... why not up-sticks to somewhere that has events (and so the people) that interest you (like somewhere with massive gaming conventions regularly, and lots of large gaming community supplying stores).

I can fully appreciate the sentiment you hold, I'm leaving my current location due to 3 years of failing to cement a level of friendship that I desire... I, personally, love psy trance and metal because the communities are generally formed of intelligent & non-judgemental people. Most of the people I know who go to psy-parties are coders or analysts of some form or other...

That said, nothing wrong with gaming and being a recluse, I tend to do this for a few months every so often.

 

Eh, I think it is better to do both.

I rarely game on Friday or Saturday nights, I go out with friends or take the lady out for a nice dinner and a movie.

I think it is fairly easy to get lost in either activity if they are done exclusively. In my younger years, we partied 5-6 days a week. Then I went through the "Holy Shit, I must gear up this Druid" stage.

A little social activity mellows me out, lets me reconnect with reality, and keeps my priorities in line. Most of my friends game to one extent or another, so I cannot say I have an issue with people not getting it. Granted some the extent of their gaming is Madden 2013, but they are at least familiar

But hey, live your life how you desire.

 

I wouldn't worry overmuch about it, do whats fun, what you enjoy if it isn't hurting anyone no reason for anyone to complain. But they will, they will always find something, so don't give them a second thought, laugh at their pathetic lives and go on with yours. How do you know they must be pathetic? They are wasting their time trying to ruin your time aren't they? 'nuff said!

Now when they want you to do something with them instead that's a different ball park, the Hávamál says,

If you find a friend you fully trust
And wish for his good-will,
exchange thoughts,
exchange gifts,
Go often to his house.

Don't let brambles and briers grown on the path to your friend's house.

 

You see I am not that keen on parties, in fact, loud music just winds me up, I find it uncomfortable and dislike having to shout to even order a drink. In crowded situations, I would feel even more alone than if I was sat in a bar with say half a dozen of you guys drinking a relaxed beer. I'd sooner sit and have a normal conversation at normal levels than go out and get trashed in some rave where I knew absolutely no one.

I think much of the problem stems from my total dis-interest in most sports, particularly those on TV. Don't get me wrong because I could sit and watch the superbikes, or Formula 1 or the WRC quite happily for two hours a day. But they aren't the kind of sports the average Brit would venture to the pub for. Football or rather soccer as some might term it, is all the rage here. I cannot abide the mob mentality that goes with it, nor would I wish to sit in front of a TV and watch it.

Horses for courses I guess, I'd happily go out and shoot or go running or let the dog out, but I'll never understand the fascination with kicking a ball around.

To me gaming, at least online is actually far more social than watching TV or a DVD with your friends. Its like having a phone conversation, playing a board game/team sport and watching a DVD all in one.

 

I actually thought a lot about your post, and yes different reasons make us "play". I have two small kids now, one still a baby. It is impossible for me to go out at night and go somewhere, the kids are awake every morning at the same time, they dont know the word week-end for example The only thing I find the downside of meeting people online and play together is that these people can disappear from one day to another... Its your decision how you spent your time, and I am happy to do it with like-minded people!

 

before I became a member of the shieldwall I had just moved to a new city with my family and knew no one closer than a 2 hour drive. you guys where the first only friends that I had to hang out with over the summer. and the people around here are not nearly as interesting as you guys.

 

I actually envy you guys from the states, living as you do.

Sure, California is where is it at in terms of things to do, a nice blend of history, location and people there.

But even Virginia would appeal to me. I don't know if you live in a remote area but this is surely a way to get involved in a tightly knit community and Church would be my thing. Provided I could find decent work, I'd be set for life.

I'll swap you guys, come and live in Dorset in the UK. Employment is pretty scarce and what is about is poor, and its an eclectic mixture of old folk and ancient decay and upmarket people who care about little but themselves and their own lives.

Sincerely,

A bitter Brit.

 

Fair point, and your nearest city is disgusting (Bournemouth). You realise you'd have the same thing in the USA, or anywhere, if you chose the wrong area to live?

Bristol seems to have a pretty good gaming community if that's what you're after - a few comic shops, regular open gaming nights at different locations, welcoming community, good online tools for finding people to game with (like Bristol & Bath RPG meetup) and good pubs, else there's Birmingham (centre of Games Workshop and conventions) or London (everything else)...

/defensiveness.

 

There are some wonderful areas of Virginia.. where I am is not one of them. Most of the people here have a very if you are not one of us, your are not welcome attitude. It is a very closed minded and backwards area. Yes, I am sure if you would like the church community you could find something. But keep in mind, the churches here have that same mentality. If you do not hold to my beliefs, then you are going to hell and I will make sure I tell you that every moment I can. People talk about how much they hate someone else in one breath and then in the next how much the love god and want to be a better person and go on and on and on.

In short, this community is one of the things that has driven me away from organized religion. So, no, I really do not think you would want to live in an area like this.

Sorry, did not meant o make this about religion. Just thought it was relevant to my earlier point.

 

Is it so difficult to travel in England? I mean time consuming? Many places are very far apart in most of the US, and our cities sprawl, the farther west generally the larger the sprawl in area of city and the greater the distance between towns.