Aloha, bitches

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by MagnusEffect, Jun 18, 2015.

  1. SheepHugger

    SheepHugger Well Liked Viking

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    That's why they have ships. So they don't need to swim, much less swim with missile launchers attached to their backs or swim to islands carrying metal grids and shit so they can swim there and set up airfields.

    Besides, if your ship gets hit you're already dead, whether you swim or don't. If you're anywhere near the part being hit you'll die instantly of the blast wave. If you don't, you're going to freeze to death or be eaten by sharks while floating with your life vest and trying to climb onto a life boat.
     
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  2. Lardaltef

    Lardaltef Well Liked Berserker

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    What. Of course seabees swim across the ocian with bags of concrete steel girders wiring and all that to build bases. Why would you ever use a ship to transport construction materials. Makes no sense.
     
  3. SheepHugger

    SheepHugger Well Liked Viking

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    Exactly. Like in Total War, I told my guys to assault the enemy and they were like "but we have no ships, oh wise Daimyo" to which I'm like "FUCKING TRAITORS, you can always swim can't you?"

    It's not like I give two shits about their lives. If I send 10,000 men across the narrow strait and like 500 make it across they can still overpower the garrison of 100 men with ease. It's just cowardly excuses and dishonorable conduct I say.

    Still, wouldn't do it so I eventually put them all on a ship and sent the ship on a suicide mission, them fuckers....
     
  4. Lardaltef

    Lardaltef Well Liked Berserker

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    probably caused them all to die because the enemy navy was larger?
     
  5. Hepatitis TK

    Hepatitis TK Decorative Flounce Berserker

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    No, they died of blunt force trauma to the anus. It gets lonely on a boat...
     
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  6. SheepHugger

    SheepHugger Well Liked Viking

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    "Whenever an army or a fleet is more than a turn away from a brothel they will suffer attrition"

    "Sire, your troops have suffered 15% attrition due to rectal bleeding. Try to move your army near a brothel"


    Brothel: Negates all attrition, +100% reinforce rate, +10 morale for troops defending city with a brothel. Tripled upkeep for any garrisons.
     
  7. Hepatitis TK

    Hepatitis TK Decorative Flounce Berserker

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    Sounds like you have the beginnings of a beautiful game there sheep!
     
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  8. SheepHugger

    SheepHugger Well Liked Viking

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    I know. I feel like making that into reality one of these days. It could be just the campaign map.
     
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